Uganda: March 10, 2003

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Apparently, a lot of people in Uganda aren't paying attention to 'how things really work'. Taking a page from former Iraqi Information Minster and budding comedian Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf's book, the LRA reportedly said that the Ugandan government must declare an unconditional ceasefire before it will nominate a peace negotiating team. Someone should let the LRA know that it's difficult to dictate terms during a war, when you're the side that's losing.

Some female activists in Uganda's capital Kampala believe that if women started denying their husbands sex, then their men folk can be dissuading from waging war. While the concept was an interesting premise for the ancient Greek play "Lysistrata", it probably wouldn't play well with LRA rebels - they'd simply rape the activists, just as they have countless hundreds of Ugandan women for the last 17 years. - Adam Geibel